Maintaining good mental health

At the moment I find myself going through waves of emotions. A recent article I read resonated with my current state of mind, suggesting that we are all experiencing a collective sense of loss and therefore most likely transitioning between the various stages of grief as suggested by Elizabeth Kubler Ross (for those who want to read an in-depth article explaining this, follow the link below). 

Any form of loss constitutes a trauma which Lisa Oliver describes as "too much, happening too fast". She offers grace and gentleness as a way in which to help us get through this process with more compassion for ourselves. 

I find myself flitting between living in the moment to thinking of life after the lock-down. I have since realised that it is better for my mental health to focus on the here and now. This mind shift demands a relatively popular tool/practice proven to calm fears and anxiety, called mindfulness. I have often advocated the usefulness of using refocusing techniques to help quiet the mind and switch to grounding ourselves by using deep breathing exercises and the five senses. It is fairly simple to do, but does require some self-discipline to master. The great thing about it, is that you can do it at any time and place - it doesn't matter what you are busy with (making it very efficient). I have posted a few links below to help get you started. If you only want something brief, I suggest the link to using the "STOP" process.

I also use more practical ways to address overwhelming feelings, such as anxiety, by reminding myself of how I would have worked through these emotions with my clients. One of the first things that I try to facilitate is the idea that anxiety is a normal emotion that serves, just like other feelings, a very useful purpose - namely, to keep us safe and protected from harm. Your body is therefore only following orders by assessing various possible scenarios and planning ahead. Sometimes, however, our mind battles to distinguish these situations from the real deal and we may suddenly begin to show physical responses to it, such as shallow breathing, sweaty palms, heart palpitations or shaky knees etc. Acknowledging the role of different emotions helps to make better sense of them which means they can be better managed. 

In managing emotions it often helps to externalise the feeling i.e. separate the emotion from oneself (easier said than done). I like to think of emotions as visitors, bringing along different responses and thoughts. This allows a person to feel more in control of a potentially debilitating reaction. It also creates an opportunity for you to evaluate the emotion objectively, by rating its severity (on a scale of 1-10, how anxious are you) as well as thinking of neutral ways to decrease the intensity of the emotion. The best defense against anxiety is gaining a sense of C O N T R O L. The great thing about that, means that sometimes feeling in control with something unrelated to the initial trigger of our anxious emotions, still works to make us feel better. In other words, sorting out the food cupboard or folding laundry makes us feel in charge of something, which makes us feel a little better overall. It is therefore important to acknowledge the difference between the things that are in our control and the things that are out of our control. So... focus on what you can control when you are feeling a surge of panic coming on.